"The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life."

My Grandma passed away earlier this month and I feel I don't even know how to react. 

She has always been there for me and has tried to make each moment of my life special.

I remember one year when I was little, my Grandma had back surgery. We went out to Nebraska to be with her and 

my Grandpa and since we could not go down to the basement to work on crafts, we made felt Christmas ornaments 

on her bed. I guess before her surgery, she had previously ironed Christmas decals onto the felt beforehand. Then on 

her bed we stuffed them with cotton and hand sewed them together. Those ornaments hang on my tree every year. 

My parents are both from Nebraska, so we would go there every Christmas and stay at my Grandparent's home.

She made it a huge affair! Her house would be decorated from top to bottom in Christmas decorations. 

Christmas Eve was a special feast with lobster and a beautiful decorated table. Christmas morning there were 

always beautiful gifts that far exceeded my expectations. 

When I turned 8 years old and was baptized she supplied all the decorations. Even though we had different beliefs, 

she knew it was a special occasion for me, and wanted to contribute. 

I would spend a few weeks on my own with my Grandparents during the summer. She would let me watch Saturday morning 

cartoons in my Grandpa's favorite chair and would serve me breakfast. We had so many tea parties together and 

she would always read to me. 

When Grandparent's day would come at school, the grandparents would come and we would do a presentation for them. 

My Grandparent's were never able to come because they lived in Nebraska, but my Grandma would always send a 

care package to my brother and I and they would tell us how much they wished they could be there.

When I was 9 years old, my family and I moved into a new house with a mother-in-law apartment so my Grandparents 

could move from Nebraska and live with us in Utah. For most of my life, she has been always so close.

Their house was always stocked with chocolate chip cookies. She was always available to talk. 

For Sunday dinners my Grandparents would come upstairs to our home and we rarely missed a Sunday dinner together. 

If I ever needed anything, she was the one to help. Materials for school projects, Grandma had it.

When I entered high school and went to different dances, I think she bought every dress for me. When I graduated 

from high school, my Grandparents gave me a laptop for my gift. When I went on my mission she bought all 

of the clothes I needed. And when I came home, she was there to welcome me back. 

^Skyping from my mission^

When I got married she asked for some suggestions of a wedding gift and she got my everything I had suggested. 

I had not expected her to get my everything I said, rather they were just ideas. She kept saying,"What else can I get you?" 

Andrew and I just kept telling her she did more than enough and we refused to give her any more ideas. 

She just wanted to give us anything she could. That was simply they way she had always lived her life. 

Two years ago, Andrew and I moved to a different apartment and my Grandma wanted to see it. At this point of 
her life, walking was really difficult for her and Andrew and I were on the 2nd level with no elevator. We brought 
my Grandma over and she literally crawled up those stairs and we had dinner with her. It was so much fun to have her with us.

For this new year I was writing in all birthdays into my planner and as I was writing in my Grandma's birthday on 

February 18, I had a thought that she wouldn't make it to her birthday. She had been doing fairly well and nothing 

huge had changed in her health. A few days later she was admitted to the hospital. 

We were in and out to visit her for a few days. One night Andrew asked if I wanted to see her before going home. 

I was hesitant because of visiting hours but we decided to go. She was aware we were there and kept repeating, 

"I am so surprised," which is what my Grandma would say anytime I would visit her. 

The next day, my Grandma passed. I am so glad I saw her the previous night and got to have that last moment with her. 

My parents and I drove out to Nebraska for her funeral and she looked beautiful. It was difficult saying goodbye. 

She has been such a wonderful grandparent and I am so glad I was blessed with her. 

Happy Birthday Grandma! I wish you were here with us so we could celebrate your day!

Forever & Always a Part of Home

Five years! It’s been five years since I’ve come home from my mission and I don’t know where the time has gone! 

Five years ago today when I arrived at the airport and saw my parents at the bottom of the escalator and I 

remember I just started bawling 😭 Not because I was excited to be home but because when I saw my family it hit 

me that my mission was over and I wasn’t ready for that. I stayed at the top of those stairs for 15 minutes trying 

to get myself together as I saw other missionaries reunite with their families. I finally made it down the stairs and 

hugged my mom and I started crying all over again because I was so sad to be home. (Please tell me I’m not the only one!) ⁣
⁣
My mission was an unforgettable 18 months where I deeply connected with my God and his Son. That year and 

a half is where I greater understood how important it is to act on the things I believe. When I acted my faith grew. 

When I acted, my love for others around me grew. When I acted, I grew. ⁣
⁣
The Anaheim, California area will always have a very special place in my heart and it will always be a piece of my home. ❤️🏠⁣
⁣
(And yes, I cried writing this. My memories of my mission are so special, that it’s impossible not to reflect on 

those experiences with with so much joy. And sometimes I want more of that 24/7 missionary work back in 

my life because it sure created some unforgettable moments.)

Life 5 Years Later

Enjoying: 

Being done with school! No more homework. It's beautiful! 

Living:

Utah 

Looking Forward To: 

Walking for graduation in May

Reading:

Not really anything right now. Loosely, Harry Potter #1 

Job: 

Special Education Teacher!

Working On:

Putting my classroom together. 

Current Church Calling:

Compassionate Service Leader

How My Testimony Has Grown:

One thing that I have really grown to realize more this past year is how much God cares about me and my life plans. When I started my first year of college, special education was not on my radar. A friend had suggested it to me and I said, "Not happening." I don't know how but before fall semester ended, I was full speed ahead with special ed, and I felt very strongly that it was the correct career choice for me. Many obstacles came into my life that made it difficult to pursue my major, but time after time, my Heavenly Father was there to make sure I could overcome the barriers, or in some cases they would be completely removed.  I prayed so many times for things to work out. 

One major thing that I prayed for was to pass my Praxis test in Math and Science- my two worst subjects. I had avoided taking it because I was so stressed about it, I didn't even want to think about it. But the time came where I needed to take both sections of the test if I wanted to student teach that fall. Without passing them, I would not be able to move forward in my schooling and would have to hold of student teaching. I know it was my fault, and my poor planning. I studied so much for those sections and poured over study guides the praxis test provided. I spent hours a day studying and tears came. I finally booked my test dates at the beginning of August (student teaching started 3 weeks later) and it came to the point where the only thing I could do was pray. I went to my first test, science. I looked at the first question, and I was like, "How in the world does this even relate to what I studied for?" And that is how it was for the majority of the test. I was simply guessing. The next day, I took the math test. Same thing. I had not even done some of that stuff in college. It was not even close to the elementary math that they gave on the study material. Some answers were fill in  the blank and I had no idea, so I could not even guess. When I walked out I knew I did the best I could and I hoped it would be enough. When I got my results back I found out that I had passed both sections on my test and not just barely, but well over the minimum mark! There is NO WAY I could have done that on my own. Prayer is real! God listens. I was able to student teach, get my degree, and find a job. Miracles happen!

There have been a few times during the year with other things where I prayed for something to happen. These were things that were completely out of my control. I could do nothing to make it happen. In that week, my prayer was not answered once, but twice! And it happened a few other times through out the year as well. Prayer is real! God listens.

I know that every time I pray, things won't always happen the way I wish. I just feel with the first experience I shared with special education, my want was aligned with God and He fought with me to make it happen. With my second experience, I feel it was something that was simple and not too life altering, but just a simple desire that was hard for me to not receive. I still struggle with it to this day, and I do all I can to make it better, but usually it's out of my own power and I just have to hope everything works out. But what I do know is that prayer is real. God listens to me and He loves me more than I understand. And miracles happen daily. 

And here's past blog posts about marking my return home:

Year 1

Year 2

Year 3

Year 4

Our Top 20{19}

I can't believe this decade is over! There have been so many different life changing experiences in the past 10 years. 

I graduated from high school and college, went to the temple, went on a mission (one of the best things), 

met Andrew and got married, new friendships, and a lot of growth in every aspect. 

This year was a great way to end the decade! We had some fun things planned for the year, and 2019 delivered! 

1. Saw Comedy Sports 3x's!

2. Got to hear from Elder Bednar for a Q&A Fireside

Elder Ballard is one of the 12 apostles in our church and it was such an amazing experience to hear from him. 

One thing that he mentioned was that even if he answered our question that night, it was not the end of the road. 

The questions we have are still something we need to pray about and spend more time on with God. 

He just gave us a stepping stone. 

3. Hawaii Trip with Andrew's Family

4. Kennecott Trip

5. Lagoon Day (thanks Alyse!)

6. 3rd Anniversary

7. My Birthday Celebration

My mother-in-law took me out to lunch 

and my mom took me to the Hale Theater to see the play, "Tuck Everlasting."

8. Cabin + the Manti Pageant

9. Ran my 1st Half Marathon

My word of the year was "wellness" and I set a goal to run a half marathon, something that I never thought 

I would do but I loved it and it was so worth it. I would do it again!

10. Backstreet Boys Concert

I'm usually not a concert going type of person, but this was AMAZING! I loved every second.

11. Pioneer Day Concert

Andrew and  were able to go to the Tabernacle Square Pioneer Day concert featuring Sissel. 

It was so good. I don't have a picture, but here is one of my favorite songs from the performance. 

12. Passed BOTH sections of my Praxis test!

I needed to pass the math and science sections of my praxis test so I could student teach and graduate.

Sooooo stressful but I did it! Prayer works because there is NO WAY I could have done that on my

13. Huntington Lake

14. St.George Trip

15. We got a new car!

We had been on the car hunt for awhile and we went up to Riverton to look at a car with no intention of buying it. 

Well the next thing we know we are making a deal and buying the thing. 

I am trying to call it Wanda the Honda, but Andrew just wants to call it the CRV. 

16.  Disneyland with my family

17. Finished college & got a new job!

I FINALLY finished my bachelor's degree! It took awhile with my mission and credits being added in my absence 

(that pushed me back a year), then going to part time online school when I got married, but I'M DONE! 

I will walk in May so I'll share more of my story then. But if feels so good to be finished!

18. Giving my parents their Christmas gift

My mom had loved Cher since she was a teenager. She has always thought about how close she is to Cher & always 

tries to sing like her. Cher is coming to Utah on tour and we thought it would be so fun to give my parents tickets 

to Cher's concert (and my dad is up for anything my mom is). We did this whole presentation for them of giving 

them different clues with our own Cher music video at the end. They thought the music video was so funny, 

so when we gave them their tickets at the very end they didn't even see it coming! They had no idea Cher was 

coming to Utah, so it took them by complete surprise! Both of them started crying a little bit too, which we 

were not expecting at all! It was so much fun to give it to them.

I tried to upload the music video but YouTube won't let me because of copyright reasons.  

19. Went to California on a last minute whim

To see our favorite memories of the past few years:

Our Top 20{16}

Top 20{17}

 Top 20{18}

Called to the Work

I can’t believe it’s been four years since I came home from my mission! ✈️  
The time has gone by so fast and a lot has happened but it feels only like last year... at the most! 
My mission was a life changing experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything. My mission brought me closer to my Savior. 
It allowed me to see thousands of people the way Christ sees them- even if only for a moment. It taught me about Christlike love. 
I loved sharing the of gospel with others. I loved seeing others change their lives as they became closer to Christ. 
My mission brought so much goodness to my life and I am grateful for it everyday (not exaggerating). 
I will forever love My California ❤

Life 4 Years Later

Enjoying: 

Our clean and organized apartment. 

We moved back in August and I'm constantly telling Andrew how much I

love it! We have more living and storage space and a washer and dryer!

Living:

Utah 

Looking Forward To: 

Starting a new eating plan next week! 

Reading:

Crossed (Matched series) 

Job: 

Part time school in Special Education at the USU Orem Campus. 

Also working as a Special Education para educator at an elementary school.

Working On:

 Making a recipe binder. 

Actually I already made it, it's just putting all the recipes inside! 

aaaannnnnd training for a half marathon. 

Current Church Calling:

Compassionate Service Leader

How My Testimony Has Grown:

I hate to admit it but my scripture study had really fallen off the band wagon. 
I knew of the power, peace, and revelation it has previously brought to my life, but I was still struggling to 
dedicate the time to study them- not just read. When I was on my mission one thing I was looking forward to 
about coming was was spending more time reading the scriptures. But real life kicked in and it became hard! 
Without reading my scriptures I noticed a huge change in my life. 
I was more ornery and unhappy. That is not what I wanted for my life. 
I started making a bigger priority of reading the scriptures on my own and with Andrew. The difference that has made! 
Our marriage became stronger, we share more spiritual things together, I was happier and less likely to 
rash out irrationally (name the movie). 

The scriptures are really powerful as the words come from God. I need God in my life and without reading His word, 
it makes it difficult to receive revelation. I know the scriptures have been written for us and I needed them more than I realized. 
When I set aside time to read the scriptures there is a feeling that comes to our lives that cannot be duplicated by the world. 
I gave gained revelation for my live and have gained a deeper understanding and appreciation of the gospel. 
And the new Come Follow Me program that we have been doing this past month has only enhanced my scripture study time. 
I love it. It has brought me so me so much peace, joy, comfort, revelation, growth, love for others and my Savior. 
The power of the scriptures are unreal. 

I also want to share about how much I love President Nelson and how I know that he is the prophet on the earth today.
Not for one minute have I felt unsure (like I did when President Monson became the prophet).
I have felt so much power from President Nelson and I know there have been some changes but it's amazing how
those changes have changed my life for better, even in such a short amount of time. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior
and that He leads His church by giving us President Nelson to guide and help us grow.
I absolutely love this gospel. I love the growth it brings to my life and the fact that I can try again, over and over.
"Living after the manner of happiness," is the best way to grow closer to the Savior because
if there is no righteousness there is no happiness. 

Our Top 20{18}

I can't believe that 2018 is over and that we're halfway through January 2019!
Time goes by way too fast. I think it's a symptom of getting older. It boggles my mind. Seriously. 

I have loved looking back at our pictures this year and seeing the the memories
and moments that have been created. Some of them I didn't blog about, post on Instagram,
or write in my journal (because I'm so very far behind) and it's been fun reviewing the entire year. 

1. Andrew and I went to California! 

In our books California is always a good idea. This trip did not go as planned because I got the flu
and was miserable for a few days! But this made the top {18} because
#1 How can you not love CA? and
#2 We were walking through the Viet mall and Andrew reconnected with some people that he taught 10 years ago!
They moved away and Andrew never saw or heard from them again, but then there in the mall with
thousands of other people (99% of them Viet) they recognized each other and it was a happy reunion. 

2. Celebrated my mom's birthday

Random to be in my top {18} but this was one of the best times I've had celebrating a birthday.
It was all about my mom. We made her dinner, had her favorite drink, and her "cake"
was cinnamon roles because she could eat those every day.
I loved celebrating my mom and making her feel special and you could tell she
loved it and every surprise we gave her. 

3. Got airpods! 
Life changer!

Andrew surprised me with these on Easter and I don't know how lived before.

When I go to the gym I am doing weights, and burpees and a bunch of other stuff.

I would constantly need to take out my headphones to do the workout and my cord would constantly
tangle up and I would have to stop and fix it. 

My gym experience has changed and I love it! So grateful for these!
And for Andrew for surprising me!

4. Alyse got married

My freshman year roommate got married and I was able to be bridesmaid. 

She is a wonderful human being and I loved celebrating her day. 

5. Vegas with my parents

This is the most Vegas picture of all 4 of us I could find. We went to see WOW and the name says it all!
Totally recommend! We laughed a lot and partied hard on this trip!

6. Employee of the Year

I was awarded Employee of the Year in my school district and at the school I work at.

The 2017-2018 was a really hard school year. We started the school year with only 2 staff members in
the classroom (plus a signing aide, thank goodness or we would have died).
We needed two more people but we didn't have them till about October. Tears were definitely shed.
But we worked it out and ended with a great year! 

(and yes, that is my maiden name. still have not legally changed it...🙈)

7. Celebrated 2 years of marriage

8. Ryan got home from his mission in Germany!

He left shortly after Andrew and I were married and it was fun to welcome him home.

I also did his Homecoming video. It's by no means professional, but I enjoyed putting it together just the same. 

9. Bear Lake with Andrew's family
This was our first Earl vacation with all 7 of us being there!

10. I finished my 25 before 26 goal

I read 25 books before I turned 26. I kept going and it went to 26 for 26. 

I loved doing my personal challenge! 

11. Bought my American flag dress

I have wanted something that says, "America" for the 4th of July for THE LONGEST TIME! 

I found it and I love it. Random, but I've been looking this for years! 

12. Andrew got accepted into Grad school at UVU

13. We moved!
We are loving our new place! It's basically a dream. 

14. Dennis got endowed!

Our friend Dennis got baptized a year ago and Andrew was able to fly out to
Connecticut for his endowment.

We are so proud of Dennis and his example to us!
He has changed and the light he brings is contagious!

15. Went to Arches National Park

Beautiful. And we were in better shape from the last time we went.
The difference that makes.

16. Went to Denver to see friends + the Denver Temple
Our friends moved to Denver this year and we went to visit them and explore their new city.
Plus, we were able to visit the Denver Temple where my parents were married. ❤

17. Went to the Christmas Jazz Game

18. Really happy with our fitness goals and progress! 
Andrew lost 42 pounds this year! I didn't loose quite that much but I am really proud with the progress
I have been making and how much my body can do! It's been fun to to do this together!

2018 was quite the year! A lot of improvements have been made and we've had a lot of fun doing it all, along with a lot of hard work.
We have some fun things happening for 2019 and to say we are excited for some of them is an understatement!
2018, we loved you and we're excited for all the 2019 memories and experiences we're going to have!

Here's our Top 20{16}

and our Top 20{17}.

California Love

Three years ago I came home from my mission in Anaheim, California with the most life changing experience. My mission changed me in so many ways. I have learned how to deeply study the scriptures and I came to realize how much I depend on those words from God. I learned that prayer is something that truly brings me closer to my Father. I saw how miracles still happen and how much God is involved in the details. I learned how to exercise and sleep at the same time. I learned that Christmas is still Christmas without snow and I that I loved it! I learned to try new foods, and that Disneyland has the best fireworks. I learned about other's, their testimonies and how they know there is our Savior, Jesus Christ. I learned how exciting it is to share the gospel. I learned what obedience means and about consecration. I learned that service brings happiness. I learned to love it all and be so, so happy! 

Life 3 Years Later

Enjoying: 

Exercising and bettering myself
(and I'm actually awake for it now)

Living:

Utah 

Looking Forward To: 

Using our new camera

Reading:

Work and the Glory #9

Job: 

Part time school in Special Education at the USU Orem Campus. 

Also working as a Special Education para educator at an elementary school.

Working On:

 Homework and fine tune organizing our apartment

Current Church Calling:

Recently released from the Relief Society Presidency

and waiting for my new calling.

How My Testimony Has Grown:

This past year I have truly seen and realized that God wants me to succeed! There have been so many instances where I do not want to even start my day because I am sure to fail. Somehow, literally through miracles, I am able to accomplish the things I needed to and not even half way, but better than I could have ever expected. God has a plan for my life and it amazes me how everything turns out. I have always loved attending the temple but this past year the temple really became a necessity in my life. I was able to go to the temple every month last year and every time I went I was brought so much peace, even though beforehand I didn't realize how much I needed to feel that. By going to the temple I have also found a greater love for family history work for some of my own family names as well as for a friend. Death is not the end. With the passing of President Monson my testimony of living prophets increased and I took time to think of him and his sacred calling. I know that he was a prophet of God and that President Nelson is God's prophet today "for by their fruits ye shall know them." I am so grateful for the continual guidance from God that comes from His prophet and apostles today.  God is so real and his love is something I depend on. This church is true and I am so grateful that I am apart of it and I had the chance to share it everyday 18 months. 

My Top 20[17]

Guys, 2017 was such a good year and I can't believe how quickly it went!

2016 was a much slower year because I feel I was always waiting.

Waiting for our long distance to end, for the weekends to see each other,

for the wedding, to hear back from jobs, to move (but then plans changed and that did not happen), to see 

if I got accepted into my program (I waited forever because my acceptance letter got lost in the mail). 

In 2017 there was A LOT less waiting. 

2017 also had it's tough moments. Andrew's company merged with another and at the time we were not sure if he would

keep his job *thank heavens he did!*   Both of my grandpa's died in the same month. 

Two months later my dog died. School was crazy. Ah! So stressful...

But we had some awesome moments of the year too! 

Here are some of my favorite moments from 2017.

1. Went to Solider's Hollow for the ultimate sledding experience. 

If you have never had the chance to go I strongly recommend it. So much fun! 

2. Double date times 3 for Archery Tag. Such a fun way to spend with friends.

3. Andrew surprised me by taking me to see Beauty and the Beast. 

He came home playing "Be our Guest" with a red rose and 2 tickets. 

4. We saw Broadway's Lion King. 

5. We had a stay cation with our friends and ventured to Lagoon.

6. I started doing family history work at the temple!

7. Andrew and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary! 

8. My 2nd mission president and his wife came home from their mission! 

It was so good to see them again!

9. Went to NYC! 

10. Saw Wicked on BROADWAY! 

11. Went to Scranton, PA just for this picture (and some food). 

We love the Office! 

12. Went to Niagara Falls

13. Toured around Palmyra, NY and saw all the church history sites

as well as the Hill Cumorah Pageant. 

14. We went on the MTC tour. Loved that place so much. 

and our friend got baptized that day! 

(the one on the right) 

15. Saw X Ambassadors LIVE! 

(thanks Zija)

16. Went to California with my family for Thanksgiving

17. I completed my health chart, got my prize of a water bottle, and lost 5 pounds.

^My goal was to be healthier this year and I consistently started in October. 

I have felt so much healthier and I'm excited for 2018!^

2017 was a year to remember! We have had a year full of blessings, adventure, and no long distance!

We are looking forward to 2018 and excited for the experiences that it will bring.

To see My Top 20[16] CLICK HERE.

*Also if you have not see the Greatest Showman I strongly recommend it! 

Andrew and I have been listening to the soundtrack for the past 3 days. It's SOOO good.