"The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life."

My Grandma passed away earlier this month and I feel I don't even know how to react. 

She has always been there for me and has tried to make each moment of my life special.

I remember one year when I was little, my Grandma had back surgery. We went out to Nebraska to be with her and 

my Grandpa and since we could not go down to the basement to work on crafts, we made felt Christmas ornaments 

on her bed. I guess before her surgery, she had previously ironed Christmas decals onto the felt beforehand. Then on 

her bed we stuffed them with cotton and hand sewed them together. Those ornaments hang on my tree every year. 

My parents are both from Nebraska, so we would go there every Christmas and stay at my Grandparent's home.

She made it a huge affair! Her house would be decorated from top to bottom in Christmas decorations. 

Christmas Eve was a special feast with lobster and a beautiful decorated table. Christmas morning there were 

always beautiful gifts that far exceeded my expectations. 

When I turned 8 years old and was baptized she supplied all the decorations. Even though we had different beliefs, 

she knew it was a special occasion for me, and wanted to contribute. 

I would spend a few weeks on my own with my Grandparents during the summer. She would let me watch Saturday morning 

cartoons in my Grandpa's favorite chair and would serve me breakfast. We had so many tea parties together and 

she would always read to me. 

When Grandparent's day would come at school, the grandparents would come and we would do a presentation for them. 

My Grandparent's were never able to come because they lived in Nebraska, but my Grandma would always send a 

care package to my brother and I and they would tell us how much they wished they could be there.

When I was 9 years old, my family and I moved into a new house with a mother-in-law apartment so my Grandparents 

could move from Nebraska and live with us in Utah. For most of my life, she has been always so close.

Their house was always stocked with chocolate chip cookies. She was always available to talk. 

For Sunday dinners my Grandparents would come upstairs to our home and we rarely missed a Sunday dinner together. 

If I ever needed anything, she was the one to help. Materials for school projects, Grandma had it.

When I entered high school and went to different dances, I think she bought every dress for me. When I graduated 

from high school, my Grandparents gave me a laptop for my gift. When I went on my mission she bought all 

of the clothes I needed. And when I came home, she was there to welcome me back. 

^Skyping from my mission^

When I got married she asked for some suggestions of a wedding gift and she got my everything I had suggested. 

I had not expected her to get my everything I said, rather they were just ideas. She kept saying,"What else can I get you?" 

Andrew and I just kept telling her she did more than enough and we refused to give her any more ideas. 

She just wanted to give us anything she could. That was simply they way she had always lived her life. 

Two years ago, Andrew and I moved to a different apartment and my Grandma wanted to see it. At this point of 
her life, walking was really difficult for her and Andrew and I were on the 2nd level with no elevator. We brought 
my Grandma over and she literally crawled up those stairs and we had dinner with her. It was so much fun to have her with us.

For this new year I was writing in all birthdays into my planner and as I was writing in my Grandma's birthday on 

February 18, I had a thought that she wouldn't make it to her birthday. She had been doing fairly well and nothing 

huge had changed in her health. A few days later she was admitted to the hospital. 

We were in and out to visit her for a few days. One night Andrew asked if I wanted to see her before going home. 

I was hesitant because of visiting hours but we decided to go. She was aware we were there and kept repeating, 

"I am so surprised," which is what my Grandma would say anytime I would visit her. 

The next day, my Grandma passed. I am so glad I saw her the previous night and got to have that last moment with her. 

My parents and I drove out to Nebraska for her funeral and she looked beautiful. It was difficult saying goodbye. 

She has been such a wonderful grandparent and I am so glad I was blessed with her. 

Happy Birthday Grandma! I wish you were here with us so we could celebrate your day!

Andrew's 42 in 2018

42 LBS. IN JUST OVER 3 MONTHS AND & 11 DAYS (102 days)! If you had asked me in January, I never thought I would be here by December and never thought I WOULD or COULD actually lose this much weight.

---------------------------------

All through high school I was a constant 150 lbs. Then combine my freshman year of college with my two year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to Anaheim, California where I came to love Vietnamese food and I returned home in June 2010 at 185 lbs. However, within 6 months (December 2010), I dropped 25 lbs. and was back around 160 lbs. I have slowly gone up since then. I hung around 170 lbs. for a couple years then found myself at 180 lbs. I hit 190 lbs. and bought myself a gym pass to increase my exercise from basketball once or twice a week to much more frequently.

Then in February 2015, Audrey and I met and started dating. I maintained my exercise pretty well and actually was successful in dropping 10 lbs. and was back to 180 lbs. I maintained for a while, especially while she was at school - we dated apart for 8 months while she was in school at Utah State University in Logan and I was in Provo working at Qivana. I was at the gym everyday. It was during this time that I last remember wearing my black suit (pictured above) at the Qivana company Christmas party in December 2015 and again in January 2016. By this point, I wore it because I liked it, but the pants started to get tight on my legs and the jacket became too small to button up, so I would wear it without buttoning.

Then we got engaged in January 2016 and my workouts fell to the side. I still played basketball each week, but I let the gym pass expire and I stopped going. That 10 lbs. quickly came back by our wedding that summer. Audrey and I both got new VASA gym passes in November 2016. Shortly after, on December 29, I logged 205 lbs. This time however, I was not seeing the same success I had seen before.

My weight just fluctuated around 205 lbs. and even increased! I was drinking Qivana protein shakes each day for breakfast. I had seen many other people experience weight loss with these meal replacement shakes, but they did not seem to be working for me. At the beginning of March 2017, Qivana merged with Zija International and my life became too busy for the gym and now I was working in Lehi instead of Provo. That made it a lot more difficult to get to the gym every day with traffic and the time it took to get home.

By summer 2018, I saw my weight peak at a point higher than I had ever been before. I knew I had gained weight because I could not wear many of my clothes anymore. I was wearing bigger pants and couldn't even zip up or button my old jeans anymore - some of them I couldn't even get up my legs (like my black suit pants I wore when I met Audrey). My stomach was becoming more visible and my face we very full. It was embarrassing. I plateaued and peaked soon after a started a new job at Synergy WorldWide.

(Here is my photo from the first day of work at Synergy at the end of February 2018)

August 2017 -- 211 lbs.
September 2017 -- 212 lbs.
May 5, 2018 -- 213.4 lbs.

Then the pain came. I think it started in March 2018. About once a month, I would wake up in the middle of the night with intense, radiating, internal pain stabbing through the right side of my abdomen. After a few hours the pain would subside with Ibuprofen and heat. Sometimes, the pain lingered throughout the day for a bit. One day I was late to work because of it. Another time, I was uncomfortable all day and another time, it happened after work but went away and I played basketball that night. At first, I assumed it was muscle spasms. Though I started to wonder what was wrong with me.

It happened in July 2018 and here's how I enjoyed my birthday....

Finally, the pain occurred THREE times in ONE week - Monday, Wednesday, Friday/Saturday (longest yet). That was enough, I decided to go in for a physical on July 31st.

The blood work came back showing that I had elevated:

• Liver enzymes: AST & ALT - these are supposed to be between 0 - 45. Mine were at 250 and 900+
• Biliruben
• Total Cholesterol
• Triglycerides

Now that we knew something was definitely wrong, they sent me to undergo an ultrasound on August 7th. Then a couple days later, I received a phone call while at work with the diagnosis that I had several small gallstones in the neck of my gallbladder. I had been experiencing gallbladder attacks and was referred to visit a General Surgeon on August 16th. The surgeon did not comfort me - surgery was really my only option. Avoiding surgery was to tempt fate. They offered to get me in the next day, but I was not ready for that. I postponed two weeks to make the decision and come to peace about it.

We were praying for a sign that surgery was the right thing for me to do. Audrey and I went to the temple. I had surgery scheduled for Friday, August 31st and throughout that week, I noticed a distinct difference in the way I felt. There was a constant discomfort in my abdomen the entire week and I just did not feel very good. That was the best sign and confirmation I could have aside from having another severe pain attack.

I did have surgery early in the morning on August 31st. I walked out of the surgical center and went to the grocery store with Audrey. I was up and around that day since it had been a laparoscopic surgery with only four tiny incisions. I went to a wedding reception that night. It felt like I had done the most intense ab workout ever.

Within two and a half weeks, I was playing basketball again and I had lost 15 lbs.! I did a follow-up blood test on September 12th and my liver enzyme levels had nearly returned to normal. Then October 5th, I did another blood test and my cholesterol had dropped more than 75 points and was back in the normal healthy range. The surgery fixed everything!

August 31st - 213 lbs.

September 15th - 195 lbs.

October 7th - 188 lbs.

October 28th - 183 lbs.

November 25th - 177 lbs.

December 11th - 171 lbs.

I have found success by drinking a lot of water at the beginning of meals, by eating smaller portions, and by being active. No special program. While I have been eating whatever I want, I am being more conscious of what and how much I am consuming. I have tried to avoid eating foods that are high in fats and calories. I still eat these foods if I feel they are worth it, but I just eat less of them. When eating out, I share with Audrey or eat half or less of what I used to, and save the rest for another meal later. For example, I would always eat a full Cafe Rio salad and still be hungry. Now I'm filled by the time I eat half of it. I have made an effort to eat more vegetables and fruits while avoiding snack foods. I am saving money while being healthier.

As for activity, I work a 9-5 desk job, but try to walk one mile during lunch. I play a couple hours of full-court basketball at least once a week and on the other days have done a mixture of walking, running, and cycling at the gym. Overall, I'm moving more. I have a goal to reach 10,000 steps every day, but often find that I exceed 15,000 steps in a day. It really does matter what we put into our bodies and how much we move. I'm excited to keep going! 

I'm happy to share more about what I've done if anyone is curious or wants some ideas to try!

TAKEAWAYS:
-I love food! I have learned that I can still eat whatever I want, I just eat less of it and save the rest to eat later.
-Drink tons of water! I have only touched soda twice since the end of August and had a very small amount each time. I've only had 2 small Gatorades in that time as well. I've had juice a handful of times - orange, apple, grape - but I limit myself to a small cup or 1 glass.
-Exercise can be just moving - it doesn't have to be training for a marathon - I have played basketball once per week, walk, jog, and stationary bike. That's it. I haven't done any weight training.

It's Been Kind of Crazy

I've been a little absent on this blog of mine. Life has been quite the whirlwind lately. 

First off, if you did not know Andrew and I moved at the beginning of August! We are so in love with our new place.

It's a 2 bedroom 1 bath. It has central air, a washer and dryer, bigger rooms, crown molding.

And other little things that I am obsessed with, and others may call me weird.

Like more counter space in the kitchen. And a kitchen faucet that can spray down dishes.

(I screamed when I found that out!) 

I thought we would miss our first apartment because it was home,

but since moving into our new apartment I have not missed it once! 

^In front of our new apartment^

A few weeks after we moved Andrew had surgery. 

Earlier this year, he would wake up in the middle of the night with severe pain in his lower back.

I would massage his back and put heat on it until the pain was at a level he could go back to sleep.

We had no clue what it was. Then in the summer he could start to feel the pain expand to his 

side and stomach. 

It was happening more frequently and the pain was starting to happen in the day as well.

He decided that it was something that needed to be looked at. 

Blood tests were done and the numbers were way high. Normal ranges were in the 50's and Andrew was in the 900's. 

And yes, I meant to put 2 zeros, not a typo. That's how high his levels were.

Long story short, we found out he had gallstones. 

We looked and studied several different options of what to do because Andrew did not want to have surgery. 

Last thing on his list. But in the end that is what we ended up doing. 

^He looks so mellow here, but it was really a hard thing for him^ 

Surgery went well and he was literally up and walking around 3 hours later. 

We did some grocery shopping (because I didn't think to do that before the surgery?) 

for foods that he would be better for him to eat. 

Recovery has been so far so good. And he's starting to eat normal food again versus

apple sauce, rice cakes, and pudding. 

Before all of this happened we did manage to tube down the Provo River. 

We try doing this once a summer. The water is always freezing but you get numb and used to it. 

And as you are going down the river the scenery is beautiful. We love doing it. 

Later that day we met up with Andrew's family up at Temple Square for the Pioneer Day Concert.

I absolutely loved it because it was music from the Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals. 

We got home and then out of no where I got really sick with a major bug. Andrew was amazing and took care of me 

and we accidentally called 911. My apple watch slipped in between the bed and the nightstand and in between that slipping it 

called 911 and they were on the line for about 2 minutes before we realized we called them. Oh my word! I told them I was 

so sorry and it was a complete accident. Andrew took the phone from me to explain and they questioned wondering why I  could not explain the situation. I was lying on the floor with a bowl right next to me. They called off the police that 

were coming over to our apartment. Cannot believe that happened. 

Those are the big crazy things.

Mini things:

 a blood vessel burst in my eye. no pain, no vision loss, but I looked so scary. 

a parking ticket when moving.

endless studying and homework even in the summer. 

long hours at work.

It will be so good when things get settled back to a normal pace.

But we have been enjoying our pool days.

exploring our new area. we live so much closer to downtown and it's so fun to walk around and see it all. 

mini date nights at home.

Life has had it's little rough patches lately but overall we're doing pretty ok :) 

Did you hear the joke about the flu?

Well, I'm not going to tell you because I don't want to spread it around. (haha)

 ok. i'm awful at jokes, but really.

i probably did spread it around because we went to disneyland when i had the flu.

yes, you read that right. disneyland + the flu. 

Most of my day looked like this:

But we did manage to have some fun.

How can you not when you are in the happiest place on earth?

At the very beginning we rode Guardians... TWICE which I have no idea how

because the nausea was real!

At one point I went in the car and slept for a few hours which was so nice and really helped and Andrew went to Disneyland 

by himself. When I was finished with my break Andrew met me by the entrance and

we tried to have more fun by doing some of the calmer rides like Haunted Mansion and Pirates.

 We were also were able to watch some of Fantasmic. Disney is magical. 

Andrew was such a good sport throughout all of this.

He even said allowed us to leave an hour before the parked closed when I once again had to 

lie on a park bench while he did Star Tours. 

Our fake honeymoon wasn't what we expected but is sure made me grateful

for the man I married. 

Our real honeymoon is HERE and it was a much better experience :) 

My Top 20[17]

Guys, 2017 was such a good year and I can't believe how quickly it went!

2016 was a much slower year because I feel I was always waiting.

Waiting for our long distance to end, for the weekends to see each other,

for the wedding, to hear back from jobs, to move (but then plans changed and that did not happen), to see 

if I got accepted into my program (I waited forever because my acceptance letter got lost in the mail). 

In 2017 there was A LOT less waiting. 

2017 also had it's tough moments. Andrew's company merged with another and at the time we were not sure if he would

keep his job *thank heavens he did!*   Both of my grandpa's died in the same month. 

Two months later my dog died. School was crazy. Ah! So stressful...

But we had some awesome moments of the year too! 

Here are some of my favorite moments from 2017.

1. Went to Solider's Hollow for the ultimate sledding experience. 

If you have never had the chance to go I strongly recommend it. So much fun! 

2. Double date times 3 for Archery Tag. Such a fun way to spend with friends.

3. Andrew surprised me by taking me to see Beauty and the Beast. 

He came home playing "Be our Guest" with a red rose and 2 tickets. 

4. We saw Broadway's Lion King. 

5. We had a stay cation with our friends and ventured to Lagoon.

6. I started doing family history work at the temple!

7. Andrew and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary! 

8. My 2nd mission president and his wife came home from their mission! 

It was so good to see them again!

9. Went to NYC! 

10. Saw Wicked on BROADWAY! 

11. Went to Scranton, PA just for this picture (and some food). 

We love the Office! 

12. Went to Niagara Falls

13. Toured around Palmyra, NY and saw all the church history sites

as well as the Hill Cumorah Pageant. 

14. We went on the MTC tour. Loved that place so much. 

and our friend got baptized that day! 

(the one on the right) 

15. Saw X Ambassadors LIVE! 

(thanks Zija)

16. Went to California with my family for Thanksgiving

17. I completed my health chart, got my prize of a water bottle, and lost 5 pounds.

^My goal was to be healthier this year and I consistently started in October. 

I have felt so much healthier and I'm excited for 2018!^

2017 was a year to remember! We have had a year full of blessings, adventure, and no long distance!

We are looking forward to 2018 and excited for the experiences that it will bring.

To see My Top 20[16] CLICK HERE.

*Also if you have not see the Greatest Showman I strongly recommend it! 

Andrew and I have been listening to the soundtrack for the past 3 days. It's SOOO good.